Proverbs · chapter 5 of 31
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Proverbs 5 is a father's warning to his son against the adulterous woman, whose words are sweet but whose end is bitter and leads to death. It shows what the son will lose if he goes near her and encourages him to drink from his own fountain and rejoice in the wife of his youth. It ends by reminding us that the Lord sees all of a man's ways.
Chapters 1 to 4 have urged the son to seek wisdom. Proverbs 5 applies that urging to one concrete area: faithfulness in marriage. In a book about everyday life, sexuality is not left out. The chapter does not present it as something dirty but as a gift that reaches its fullness within the covenant of marriage, and it clearly warns of the consequences of breaking that covenant.
The father asks his son to pay attention to his wisdom and understanding, so that he may keep discretion and his lips guard knowledge (vv. 1-2). The reason is that the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death and her steps follow the path to Sheol. She gives no thought to the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it (vv. 3-6).
Then comes a fresh call to his sons: do not depart from the words of the father, keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house (vv. 7-8). Otherwise the son will give his honor to others and his years to the cruel, and strangers will feast on his strength and his labor (vv. 9-10). At the end he will groan, when his flesh and body are consumed, and confess with pain that he hated discipline and did not listen to his teachers, and that he was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly (vv. 11-14).
Verses 15 to 20 offer the alternative: drink water from your own cistern and your own well, that is, the intimacy of your own wife. The father asks that the springs not be scattered in the streets but belong to the husband alone, that the fountain be blessed, and that he rejoice in the wife of his youth, loved like a doe and a graceful deer, and always be intoxicated with her love. And he asks: why be led astray by another man's wife and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
The chapter concludes with a foundation: a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, who examines all his paths (v. 21). The wicked will be caught in his own iniquities and held fast in the cords of his sin; he will die for lack of discipline and be led astray by his great folly (vv. 22-23).
References follow ESV book names and verse numbers. Read each verse in your Bible before the explanation.
The adulterous woman's words are sweet as honey and smooth as oil, but her end is bitter as wormwood and sharp as a sword. Sin often promises pleasure at first and charges a very high price afterward.
The advice is not merely to avoid falling but to keep far away and not go near the door of her house. Whoever wants to be faithful does not place himself in temptation to see how long he can resist but keeps his distance from the start.
The father encourages the son to rejoice in the wife of his youth and always be captivated by her love. Scripture presents married love as a joy to be cultivated, not only a duty to be fulfilled.
Each person's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, who examines all his paths. Nothing done in secret escapes him, so faithfulness is not only a matter of reputation before others.
6 questions with answers and references, ready for Sunday school, small group or a Bible quiz night.
Answer: Sweet as honey and smoother than oil. — Proverbs 5:3
Answer: Bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword. — Proverbs 5:4
Answer: Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house. — Proverbs 5:8
Answer: That he hated discipline and did not listen to his teachers. — Proverbs 5:11-13
Answer: Drinking water from his own cistern and rejoicing in the wife of his youth. — Proverbs 5:15-18
Answer: Before the eyes of the Lord. — Proverbs 5:21
Proverbs 5 speaks plainly to an age that presents unfaithfulness as normal or free of consequences. The text does not stop at prohibition: it first shows the deceit of temptation and then the price it charges. In a couples' group or a youth group you can talk about the doors that lead to unfaithfulness: secret conversations, images, friendships that cross boundaries.
The chapter also encourages us to care for married love with attention, tenderness and joy. For married people it is a call to invest time in a spouse and to ask God to renew affection. Those who have already failed can remember that the Lord sees all ways and also offers forgiveness and a new beginning to those who repent.
Proverbs 5 shows that faithfulness is guarded from a distance and lived with joy. In chapter 6 the father will deal with other practical dangers, such as guaranteeing a neighbor's debt, laziness and lying, and will return to the theme of adultery.
She is a woman who is not the son's wife and who draws him with smooth words into a forbidden relationship. Here she stands for the real danger of adultery, although the chapter's principles apply equally to men and women and to any form of unfaithfulness.
It is an image for intimacy with your own wife. In a land where water was a treasure, a cistern was something one owned and cared for, and the father invites the son to find his joy within marriage and not outside it.